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The Moment Before

by Raven Rose

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1.
There came a day when it didn’t rain But I was sad on a sunny day So I wish you would just give our love that blue sky goodbye Sit down beside me Put on your old blue jeans if you wanna I have had enough of your theoretical love, god knows I need you to just give our love that blue sky goodbye Standing on a dusty road Crying, you’re just not the one Half hello’s and goodbyes You got me second-guessing everything And I wish you would just give our love that blue sky goodbye Standing in your doorway I would say I’m sorry but I I’m watching the birds fly by Like almost forgotten night Oh why won’t you go on and give our love that blue sky goodbye All my friends are watching us Saying you gotta, you gotta give it up So let it blow away Go on and give our love that blue sky goodbye
2.
Summer Rain 03:52
She could see lilac in the sky You said if she had your eyes The world is black and white And she cried quietly You’ve been painting her blue yeah painting her blue yeah painting her blue, ooh ooh Well I guess I’d better go I’m rolling on Dandelion clocks, blowin’ in the wind Wishes takin’ root, scattered on the road I’m rolling on And I realize I could love everyone So baby let me feel your summer rain Roll on me Well I could throw myself to you Hearts are just spare change And was it your eyes? They were a mirror of mine But you were painting me blue, just painting me blue, just painting me blue, ooh ooh And I guess I’d better go I’m rolling on Dandelion clocks, blowin’ in the wind Wishes takin’ root, scattered on the road I’m rolling on And I realize I could love everyone So baby let me feel your summer rain Roll on me Somehow tragedy seemed smaller When I saw it on TV Tell me, are you alive? The world is wide and wide But you’ve been painting it blue just painting it blue just painting it blue and I I’ve got to go feel the summer rain Roll on me
3.
Tell Me 03:48
Tell me, for I don’t know How did I, how did I let myself go And where am I, where am I watching me White on green and godsent rain Tell me, for I don’t know how to say Babe, I can’t let myself love you now I can’t let myself love you now Tell me, tell me I can’t love you now Things I should have said I don’t wanna lie to you, let me just say Why don’t we, why don’t we walk away Your eyes only blinded me Where did I, where did I let me go wrong? And where have I, where have I run to? White on green and godsent rain Tell me, for I don’t know how to say Babe, I can’t let myself love you now I can’t let myself love you now Tell me, tell me I can’t love you now Tell me, for I don’t know Where did I, where did I let myself go? And where am I, where am I watching me? One thing, that’s all I know And I can’t love you now.
4.
Lyrical inspiration from Lord Alfred Tennyson & allusions to Lewis Carroll. We’re climbing down into the well We heard this is where he did lie And as the light fades We can’t seem to remember Did we always have these wings? Were our bodies always so far away? And the sky is speaking to me Like a living flash of light, I fly But the others don’t seem to see me move They wonder if I’ve died And he says it wouldn’t be so bad But we’re all mad here We’re climbing up out of the well Everything’s so real we want to cry And he takes my hand Saying, “Put away the sun. It’s a toy made for children Let your heart go, come with me. Be reborn.” And the wind is blowing through me Like a living flash of light I fly But the others don’t seem to see me move They wonder if I’ve died And he says it wouldn’t be so bad ‘Cause we’re all mad here We’re climbing down into the well Looks like we just can’t stay away And as the light fades We can’t help but remember We have always had these wings And our souls were made to be set free We’re giving them up to the kaleidoscopes in his eyes So that we can see it’s all right ‘Cause we’re all mad here.
5.
I see that look in your eye Like you want something you can’t have so bad You know where to go Every pretty face behind the bar will tell you how Where is your heart, where is your soul? They’re buried in the ground at the crossroads downtown I hope you’re happy, I hope you’re happy now Where is your heart, where is your soul? They’re buried in the ground at the crossroads downtown Where do you go, now you got what you want? So pick up your guitar, wow everyone But ever since that kiss, is there something missing? It ain’t right in the back of your mind But get drunk on life while you got it Where is your heart, where is your soul? They’re buried in the ground at the crossroads downtown I hope you’re happy, I hope you’re happy now Where is your heart, where is your soul? They’re buried in the ground at the crossroads downtown Ten years have come and gone around Hide behind the door, kneel down and pray They’re coming for you, this is your day Where is your heart, where is your soul? They’re buried in the ground at the crossroads downtown I hope you’re happy, I hope you’re happy now Where is your heart, where is your soul? They’re buried in the ground at the crossroads downtown
6.
White Lies 03:37
I felt more like myself Sitting there, telling you white lies Making you cry Than I did in all the times I made you smile Living the life, I Well I was gonna take you down To watch the lilies bloom But you’re closing up my eyes Blue on blue, I put it on just for you Hiding sad eyes under sunny day shades I I felt more like myself Sitting there, telling you white lies Making you cry Than I did in all the times I made you smile Living the life, I Well I was gonna take you down To watch the lilies bloom But you’re closing up my eyes You say tell me you love me, sing so bright As you cage round my mouth with your hands, oh So sweet, baby, but you don’t let me love No you don’t let me love Well hey ho, what do you know I should go I felt more like myself Sitting there, telling you white lies Making you cry Than I did in all the times I made you smile Living the life, I Well I was gonna take you down To watch the lilies bloom But you don’t let me love, no you don’t let me love And you’re closing up my eyes So I think I should go
7.
Lady Liberty 03:27
Thinking of Sunflower Sutra, Allen Ginsberg. The news just broke over my head and I don’t know what to say I never thought it’d come to this so keep ‘em coming, keep ‘em coming, cause I I don’t think I’ll be coming home for a long, long time Please don’t try to speak, the things you say make me hate you so Land of the just, land of the free, free to hate anybody you please Lady liberty, do you want to crumble to the ground? Well lay down with me. ‘Cause I don’t think I’ll be coming home for a long, long time So take back your American dream and your sunshine streets Don’t you know they don’t need your electroshock therapy, or your wall Sunflowers die before my eyes and I know why the poets cried So when you shout, “We are righteous!” I hope you believe all your lies ‘Cause I don’t think I’ll be coming home for a long, long time Please don’t try to speak, the things you say make me hate you so Land of the just, land of the free, free to hate anybody you please Lady liberty, do you want to crumble to the ground? Well lay down with me. ‘Cause I don’t think I’ll be coming home for a long, long time I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna come home no more When Lady Liberty’s broken down inside Like a rusty pickup truck you promised to fix I don’t think I’ll be coming home for a long, long time
8.
You are not to blame when the devil puts on your face, just to laugh at me He’s saying in your voice, “Don’t you ever wish you were more? Maybe I’d want you, if you were more.” It’s like everything I am has been weighed in your hands and been found wanting And I can’t meet your eyes, and we go home, heads low Devils on our shoulders saying, “If only you were more.” Every now and again The devil runs wild on my mind Saying, “Don’t go out tonight. Just sink into the deep blue see.” Sunshine, I’m so sorry I cry under your name You are not to blame when the devil puts on your face, just to laugh at me He’s saying in your voice, “Don’t you ever wish you were more? Maybe I’d want you, if you were more.” It’s like everything I am has been weighed in your hands and been found wanting And I can’t meet your eyes, and we go home, heads low Devils on our shoulders saying, “If only you were more.” Sunshine, I’m so sorry The devil wore your face today And there’s no light to spark in my eyes ‘Cause I am small inside Sunshine I, I’m wishing I was more And I can’t meet your eyes, and we go home, heads low Whispering to ourselves, “if only I was more.”
9.
Walk on By 04:44
All those things you let me take for granted Well there they go, little pieces of my bones Falling away ‘til I am so light I could fly If only my spine weren’t so near to breaking Oh look how weak you’ve left me in myself Seems I am always knocking at your door Asking, “Have you any love for me today?” And I always knew better than you So I walk on by Well your eyes are my window to your soul They’re glazed over And you used to light up, whip quick Saying, “yes, I know how you feel!” But where did you go, what poetry will wake Your mind like when I touched you with mine? Seems I am always knocking at your door Asking, “Have you any love for me today?” And I always knew better than you So I walk on by Tell me, where are you? So close by, but where are you? And why don’t you seek me out? Didn’t you ever love me? Well have you been dreaming Under your butterfly bell jar Running out of air? Words get stuck behind Your watercolour lips, and I want to tear Your old dress off my body, to let the wind take it Just to watch our flag fly one more time But you don’t understand All those things you let me take for granted Well there they go, little pieces of my bones Falling away ‘til I am so light I could fly On the wings of almost breaking But I always knew better than you So I walk on by
10.
Innocent 03:32
I want to come to you, smelling like perfume It’s been a long week, I’ve got the blues And you pick me up and spin me around I want to come to you, dressed to the nines Just to make you realise there’s a world outside this town And I know you want to come to me But it’s all so innocent Your skin is opening to let your blushes come through You say how you wish I would lie, daring me to deny you Every breath we take, every laugh that shakes your shoulders Open up my eyes to let the light fall out Second glances show a little more than we coulda known The first time around And you sometimes find you cannot cry, and I I want to come to you, smelling like perfume It’s been a long week, I’ve got the blues And you pick me up and spin me around I want to come to you, dressed to the nines Just to make you realise there’s a world outside this town And I know you want to come to me But it’s all so innocent
11.
Hopeless 03:47
I don’t need you, it’s only a wanting Oh how I’d love you, if I really knew you Your eyes so green, Lord let me look away I’m dancing on air, knowing I’m about to fall And I’m hopeless, how I’m a-wanting, ooh, I. And all the little white houses And the people inside are not alive And I think of you, someday soon Let me bring you roses to your cheeks But I don’t need you, it’s only a wanting Oh how I’d love you, if I really knew you Your eyes so green, Lord let me look away I’m dancing on air, knowing I’m about to fall And I’m hopeless, how I’m a-wanting, ooh, I. Standing on the edge of sunlight I know you’re gonna burn it down tonight Cherry red, between your lips, oh You’re so far out, I’m too far gone But I don’t need you, it’s only a wanting And I don’t love you, it’s only a longing And your eyes so green and your smile so bright Lord help me walk away And I know it’s written all over me In the sad spaces of my face How I’m hopeless, hopelessly a wanting, ooh. And you look at me, so I laugh and look away.
12.
I Do 03:18
Her dress is the perfect white It starts to rain, come into the light Your fists so tight, you scream inside Yes you do, you do, you scream “I love you completely You break me by breathing I tear my chest open to give you my heart again.” Love is fire, you are burned “I’m a liar when I say I don’t play with flames, I’m afraid But it hurts, oh it burns so right.” Her hands leave cuts on your skin: they say ‘forever’ And love keeps seeping in like salt, burning And you do, you do, you bleed “I love you completely You break me by breathing I tear my chest open to give you my heart again.” Love is fire, you are burned “I’m a liar when I say I don’t play with flames, I’m afraid But it hurts, oh it burns so right.” Flowers flyin’, cameras flashing Down the aisle she’s walking, walking And I can see your hands shaking The pries asks, do you love And you scream, “I do, I do, I do.” I’m a liar when I say I don’t play with flames I do, I do, I do.
13.
Lyrical inspiration from Anne Sexton. She read to me, book down between her knees Tug at the orange ribbon in her air And I knew I would wash off too I said, “You are my way, you are my road, you are my way home.” And it felt true when I held you close When you go away from me, I will pray for the first time in my life Circle back, circle all around, circle back to me." Forget-me-not blues are springin’ up, but I wash off He says he loves me, he will not see Transient, temporary me, perennial everything I’d leave marks on your skin, but I wash off I said, “You are my way, you are my road, you are my way home.” And it felt true with my eyes closed When you go away from me, I will pray for the last time in my life Circle back, circle all around, circle back to me.” She read to me, book down between her knees Tug at the orange ribbon in her air And I knew I would wash off too And it comes to me I’m waiting I’m waiting I’m waiting There’s something beautiful in that moment before Tragedy comes a-knockin’ at your door.
14.
And it begins, and I don’t know How I can begin to end So I say take it away, hey Don’t stay in the sun too long It may fade you down to your bones White with the truth and ready to go Don’t wade to your neck, disappearing The water’s running deep and wide Beyond what we know Don’t get so lost in the losing That you find yourself Take my words, they are free to go And so I am I And so it ends, and I don’t know How I can even begin.

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released April 15, 2020

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Raven Rose Oxford, UK

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